Biden and Palin: An Analysis on Strategery

Joe Biden was confident, poised, relaxed and honest.  When asked tough questions, he refrained from using seduction tactics such as winking, groping his testicles, or generally referring to the constituents of this grand country as 'all my hoes in different area codes.'  When the opportunity presented itself for him to be trill, he failed.  He refrained from giving his people in Scranton and Delaware much deserved 'shout-out' from the lectern.  So obviously he's out of touch with the lay people of his hometown--and by proxy--this country, and he could have done more to allay that perception.


Sarah had it just right.


She didn't come off as this faggy Washington politician tainted with the connotation of 'experience'.  She made it resoundingly clear that being an insider and knowing what the fuck is going on in this country only clouds one's judgement.  She is the outsider, knockin' on Washington's door with a  housewarming gift in the form of this thing:  "[...] a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main Street there, brought to Washington, D.C.," (via)

It's about fucking time. 


As great as she was, she did make a few 'gaffes' but their advisors expected this.  This is why their campaign had the foresight to preemptively and strategically fuck up her interviews with Katie Couric.  Why?  Think about how everyone's expectations of Obama are so high that if, for each time he talks, an angel doesn't climax in heaven for the first time, then it's a disappointment.  Obama could learn a thing or two from this woman.  If you're great all the time, you can't be.

I have to be fair and balanced, just like Fox news though.  Let me point out her mistakes:

Sarah might have also given the impression that she doesn't know that some beer can be pretty expensive to some people, and that it's often possible to be poor and your name be something other than Joe.  On top of that, Joe Biden's name is JOE.  She basically tied him to someone that is regular and drinks beer. 


She stated, "It's time that normal Joe Six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency[...]"


Six pack of which beer, Sarah?  I know my name isn't Joe, but I sure as hell can't afford a sixpack of any of these:

Samuel Adams Utopias (Massachusetts), $140 for 24 oz. ($5.83 per ounce).
Lost Abbey Cable Car (California), $30 for 750 ml ($1.18 per ounce).
Russian River Supplication (California), $14 for 375 ml ($1.10 per ounce).
Avery Mephistopheles (Colorado), $12 for 12 oz. ($1 per ounce).
Church Brew Works Quadzilla (Pittsburgh), $20 for 22 oz. (91 cents per ounce).
Allagash Interlude (Maine), $19 for 750 ml (75 cents per ounce).
6 great high-end bargains
 

A more acceptable statement would have been:

"It's time that normal Fred-40 Oz. American gets some real street-cred clout up in this bitch, cuz we gonna run this thing, SON!  Oh, Ahem.  You betcha we are!"

Aside from those minor gripes, there are at least eight other names that are more average (and hence, more American) than Joe.  According to this source, Joe is the 9th most popular name for boys in America.  NINTH!

In closing, I want to remind my readers about Sarah's strength and resolve.  As she stated before, she "didn't blink when asked to run" for VP.  Look at Obama, though.  He's wearing shades.  Probably to mask all that blinking that's going on under there.  Sure Sarah wears glasses, but they're transparent because she has nothing to hide.

Just as she didn't blink when asked to run for VP, she held true to that last night.  Joe Biden's eye blinked way more times than hers, and even when her dry and thirsty eyes did throw out the 'white flag of surrender', she kept her blinking down to only one eye, because she fucking can.  Get 'em, girl.