"Dear rest of the world"

Dear rest of the world,
We didn't fuck it up.
Signed, 
America

Well, well, well.  What can I say.  I am proud of you, America.  It's been a while since I could say that.  I know we have a lot of work to do but it feels good to be an American again.   Watching that speech last night was like watching the end of a tearjerker of an amazing movie, only it was real.  Then they go in and throw in the thing about the puppy.  (A puppy that eats terrorists and poops jobs for everyone, no doubt.)  Can we name this dog Maverick, please?  Thank you.

But seriously, this fucking rocks.  That's all I got.  It's still soaking in.

 For a more brilliant synopsis of where we go from here, check out The Onion's article, "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job"