It's been making the news lately that many club goers are slathering up on Preparation H. to give the illusion that they are more muscular and toned than they actually are.Preparation H contains a medication called phenylephrine HCL that -- when used for the drug's intended purpose -- will shrink the swollen tissues of hemorrhoids. It works by constricting the nearby blood vessels that feed blood and fluid to the area.
But the ingredient doesn't discriminate what kind of tissue it will shrink, hence the underground beauty tips of applying Preparation H under the eyes, on love handles or other places. None of which Wyeth, the makers of Preparation H, support.
"Applying it to one's chest is an off-label use of Preparation H," said Milicent Brooks, a representative of Wyeth Consumer Healthcare. "We don't approve or endorse any off-label uses."[abc news]
This Prep H stuff is for assholes, so I guess it makes sense.
Reports from a guy (that we'll refer to as 'some douche') go on to say, "If you want to get [lucky], you have to know how to dance, and if you want girls to dance with you, you have to look ripped."
Opting to forgo reeking of butt medication is a less popular option, it appears.
"In Western culture there is a general belief that first cousin marriages lead to negative genetic outcomes, yet a large majority of children born to first cousins are healthy,” he said.
Yes, Google. That's what I meant.
You know when the rapture happens and your sinner relatives are left behind? Well, there's a service here to help:
http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/
"We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You will also be able to give them some help in living out their remaining time."
Prince covers Radiohead's "Creep" at Coachella and demands videos of the performance be taken down from Youtube. Radiohead's response?: "[...] well tell him to unblock it. It's our song."-Video here.
Craiglist ad seeks "SERIOUS guitarist looking for like-minded bandmates to make it big.
The band will need to be as focused and driven as I am, willing to meet two, perhaps three times a week. When I host a practice session, I treat it like an Ultimate Fighter match, where nobody leaves until someone taps out. If you think you've got the endurance and fire to keep up, then bring your best, but be warned... I don't let up, and I don't want to share a stage with anyone who will.
[...]
My pedals are alphabetized so that I can easily find them in the middle of "battle". Behringer up front, Zoom at the end. When you've been in the business as long as I have, you tend to come up with little time-saving tricks like that.
So that is my decree. I know that many of you will mock my demands and continue posting your offers and requests for lesser musicians. You may continue to carry on at your own leisurely pace, hoping for a shot at a coffee house or open mic night. I will not rest until we have our own stadium on the moon, with amplifiers pointed towards the sky's infinite expanses, so that we may truly rock the galaxy. I wish for you to join me on this epic quest.
Read the entire 'want-ad' here.
Oh, and check out this adorable blog that acts as a tribute for those failed attempts at rock-n-roll stardom. Those who dreamed of one day having their songs illegally traded over the net can reclaim their fifteen minutes right here: "For Those Who Tried To Rock." I'm 100% sure this will end up being a really tasteless Budweiser commercial very soon.
SorryIMissedYourParty.Blogspot.com scours Flickr for parties that us commoners weren't invited to attend.
Can a brotha get an eVite? Got Damn.
bad·ass (băd'ăs'):
- Badass oldschool bike - Check
- Saddle bags - Check
- Shades - check
- Wraparound headphones - Check
- Unnecessary, but faithful exotic bird sidekick Check
- Cigar - Check
- Carefree attitude and general lack of regard for anything short of an impending nuclear attack - Check
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