The Income Removal Service

The Income Removal Service says I owe them money and I must meet them at the corner of Park and Margaret at 9 AM sharp on May 9th and to come alone or thumbs will be broken.

Luckily, the schedule for the stimulus plan rebates (below) shows that I could expect to receive my 'economic stimulus plan' funds by May 9th.

I'll be using the majority of the 'economic stimulus' funds to pay for a single gallon of gas (assuming it still costs $499.23 ^9/10 a gallon, which, of course, includes a portion of my soul in the price) of which the majority of said gallon of gas will be used solely for the purpose of enabling me to transport myself to the tax office to pay the remainder of the amount I still owe the I.R.S. Of course I can pay online but they'll pass some sort of law which requires I show up in person so they can verify my suffering firsthand. Cue the violin.

Enough of that. The schedule below shows when you could expect to receive yours based on the last two digits of your SSN.

Stimulus Payment Schedule for Tax Returns Received and Processed by April 15

(Source: IRS)

Economic stimulus payments will be issued according to the last two-digits of the main filer's Social Security number. People who use direct deposit also will be among the first to receive the payments starting May 2, 2008. Paper checks will be put in the mail starting May 16, 2008.

Direct Deposit

Last two SSN digits:	Payment will be transmitted:
00 through 20	May 2
21 through 75	May 9
76 through 99	May 16

Paper Check

Last two SSN digits:	Payments will be mailed by:
00 through 09	May 16
10 through 18	May 23
19 through 25	May 30
26 through 38	June 6
39 through 51	June 13
52 through 63	June 20
64 through 75	June 27
76 through 87	July 4
88 through 99	July 11

To see if you qualify for a stimulus check and how much you can expect to receive if so, go here. You'll need your 1040. You MUST file a return by today (4/15) to even qualify.

If you've moved since you filed your tax return and they are not depositing it directly into your bank account, then you must fill out this form to update your address.



Additional Resources:
Stimulus Plan FAQ