A Failing Grade for Dad on His Son's First Day of School

I rarely share anything in public that I post in my child's blog, but I figured I'd at least share my experience of my son's first day of school.

I didn't realize how aggravating it is to enroll a child into school. He was short one varicella vaccination but I was given an 'exemption' from his primary care physician since the earliest they could take him in was for a date well after the first day of school. So his doctor's office handed me a copy of his shot record along with a signed exemption from his doctor.

So I took all of the information they asked for to his school to enroll him. But...Friday evening, of the Monday before school starts, they decide to notify me of him needing the last dose of his varicella vaccine. Okay, wonderful. I politely told the school nurse that the sheet I handed to the office specifically stated that he had an exemption. It even showed that this would be acceptable on the website for Duval County public schools:

Proof of all required immunizations (Florida certification of immunization, DH Form 690) or an exemption.

She quickly retorted that this isn't true, and asked me where I got this information. I told her 'from the county's school website' and she said that it must mean if it's for religious purposes. I was this close to saying, 'yeah - that's why then. He's like extremely religious', but I didn't. I figured that I ought to be on good terms with the person that might be first to care for my child when the inevitable case of clumsiness befalls him. Additionally, he needed the shot anyway, so I thought I'd just get it over with. I planned to do this on Sunday; a day before school started. So I huffed, but I told her thanks for calling me, as I vehemently slammed down the phone. (Okay, so I pressed 'End' on my cell, but really hard.)

Then come the next day, I received a call from someone in the Enrollment office at his school. They told me that the 'certified' copy of his social security number is not good enough - they need a copy of his birth certificate. Okay, so maybe that was my fault, but I was upset about this for several reasons:

1. I enrolled a week before this call, and I wish they had given me this information on the day I brought all of my documents.
2. I don't have another copy of his birth certificate. I gave my last copy to the Early Learning Coalition in haste last year, which was actually the copy that my attorney had given me, without making another copy for myself. Yeah. I know.
   

But I stopped with the panicking when I realized they'd accept other docs in lieu of his birth certificate - one of which I was sure I could get. His life insurance policy.

So I try to log-in to my work's handy benefits portal from home and I find that Prudential holds this information. So I make an account at prudential.com so I could hopefully print this information and get this off my back. When I try to make my account online, it asks for my policy number. I don't know my policy number. (In my defense, I think it'd be a little creepy if I had that shit memorized.) So I contact their customer support line. I tell the nice Aussie lady that I tried setting up my account online so that I may access my policy information, but that the system told me that I was entering the wrong policy number and mentioned that I had only 1 attempt of 3 left. Come to find out, since I have a 'group policy', that I'd have to call them back on Monday morning at 8:30. His class begins at 8:30, which would be fine, I suppose, if it wasn't his FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. You know, everything goes smoothly for everyone elses children's first day of school. Right? "I'm a bad parent!" I shouted to myself.

Only now did I begin to realize the shittiness of something I had never given much thought to before. According to the site, they do accept alternate documents in lieu of a certified copy of his birth certificate. One of those docs being a "duly attested transcript of a certificate of baptism."

Okay, hold the fuck up. You mean, I'm sitting here freaking out because I only provided a certified copy of his identity that has a notarized stamp from the social security office when all along you mean all I had to do was take my son to a church and sprinkle him with water? Okay, this shit just ain't right. What is wrong with this world? Does anybody not recognize the injustice? Seriously, just sit there for ten seconds and masticate on that. That only pissed me off even more. I wish they would not have mentioned that.

Okay, but I'm not one to freak out. Usually. I gathered my thoughts and figured I could always get another copy from The Early Learning Coalition. They required a copy of his birth certificate for him to enroll in the voluntary pre-kindergarten program. Great. So I got their number and gave them a call. Voice-mail. They wouldn't be open until 8:30 AM on Monday.

Before I make this post any longer than it needs to be (yes, it can be) - I called them at 8 a.m. on Monday morning, and thankfully they were open, and yes - they could give me a copy. I made it there and back to his school only fifteen minutes late. But yes. He was late on his first day of school, and that's not how I envisioned it, but it makes the most sense out of everything that happened this past weekend; I was always late, if I arrived at all.

I Enrolled My Child In School and All I Got was this Crappy Picture

You better not EVER complain about school or I'mma hurt you, boy.


More updates soon to follow.