I think some people have forgotten some basic ground rules of public restroom use.
These urinals are amazingly close to each other. Close enough that it wouldn't be unlikely that you might even, in haste, grab my dick in the confusion of our unnecessary closeness. No, now is not the time to talk about spending time together for a guys' night out after work.
Next, how about you actually HOLD your junk while you're peeing? You're eventually going to, I dare say, touch it when you plop it back in your trousers, so standing there with your hands cozily plunked there on your hips like you are the ruler of all that you survey is pointless. I'm glad you didn't need to touch your dick, but I'm completely drenched just by having stood next to you. Oh, and please hand me my dick. WTF, man.
"Yes, Guadalupe (cleaning lady) -- I'm still in here, and no -- nobody is dying. It's just this guy in the handicapped stall who tore off all his clothes to take a shit. I don't know what he ate but I think he intentionally swallowed the heads of the entire 2007 Barbie collection so that he could use his 15 minute break to 'pass them' in pure ecstasy in the stall." "Shut up guy in the stall! I was talking to Guadalupe! What was that? Okay, then explain why I feel like smoking a cigarette after that experience?"
How about we start showing some decency in the public restrooms. I'm tired finding myself involuntarily playing impromptu slip-N-slide the second I step my foot in one of these restrooms that appears to have been the battle grounds for an angry pee match. Next time one of you mother fuckers slides past the doorway on your ass shouting 'weeee', it's on, bitches.
I hear ya...though what gets me is what happens at the sink...or, actually, what doesn't happen at the sink. What's the point of washing my hands if I then have to touch door knobs (not just in the bathroom but all over the place) that have been touched by god knows how many people who don't bother?
ReplyDeleteYou're too funny, Erick. This one made me laugh.
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